There comes a certain point in a woman’s life where strangers feel it’s appropriate to comment on her life choices.
It’s a strange thing, especially when you put it like that! But it does happen, time and again, either through general curiosity or people just not knowing where the limits should be.
If you are over the age of 25 and in a relationship, then it won’t be long until you’re on the receiving end of one such statement:
“Won’t be long until babies come along, I bet!”
“Are you trying to get pregnant?”
“Tick tick tick!” They will say, particularly if you’re over the age of 30. “That biological clock isn’t going to be able to wait for long!”
The most annoying part of this is that… to an extent, they’re right. If you want children (and let’s be clear: many women don’t, and there’s nothing wrong with that), then for a woman, age is a factor.
Of course, it’s not the only factor. Being ready to have a child is crucial, and getting to that stage tends to be something that comes with age. More and more women are choosing to enter motherhood later in life and society has yet to crumble. Yet the questions will still come; some from your parents, eager to be a grandparent. Others from acquaintances, friends who are already parents, or just someone who is asking to be polite. So if you’ve made the decision that parenthood – or if you’re already a parent, extending your brood – isn’t for you right now, how do you handle it?
- Explain Your Decision
If you have reasons for waiting, then don’t be afraid to share them. For some people, a desire to have a child as soon as possible was such an innate desire that they can’t necessarily understand someone choosing differently.
Say: “I’m not at a point in my life for that right now. I want to improve my self-esteem, travel more, be more financially secure – but we’ll get to it one day.”
- Explain Your Alternatives
If you seem at ease with your decision, then that’s more likely to come across. Explain that yes, you know the biological clock is ticking, but it doesn’t concern you. And why should it? This is world where adoption, IVF treatments, and surrogacy exist – if you want to be a parent, then you’ve got all the time in the world to pursue it. Biology doesn’t come into so much anymore – there are alternatives.
Say: “I know time is a factor, but I’m comfortable with exploring other options for parenthood if it comes to that. I don’t see the point of rushing into something just because of that.”
- Refuse To Answer
Realistically, this is a subject for you and your partner. So if you don’t want to go into details, then there is absolutely no requirement for you to do so.
Say: “Actually, I think that’s best kept between me and my other half, but thank you!”
- Them To Mind Their Own Business
Well it’s true, but you’re probably not going to pick up many politeness points! Still, if someone is persistent, it might reach this point!
Say: “I’d rather we didn’t discuss that, thanks!”