Archive for category: Self Movitavtion

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.” – Charles Darwin

This is a familiar quote that never had much impact on me before. Always thought I’m someone who likes changes, which is true.

But after a period of trying to have a deeper understanding of the real me, I realized that I only like self imposed changes. If it’s some kind of change that happened beyond my control, I actually don’t deal it well naturally. Pretty sure Darwin meant “it is the one that is most adaptable to change that happened beyond your control.” !

So from now on, please don’t complain or keep thinking: if only it is like the good old days. Wake up! The good old days have gone, You can’t change others or the environment but you can change yourself to make the best of what you have now.

I look like a bug, but for the record.. it’s a crow pose.

I’m not the most observant person and didn’t know the importance of being observant. If you ask me to clean a room, I’ll miss a spider web on the corner. I always take the face value of what other people say instead of watching more closely about their body language. I have the tendency to sleep walk through my life without noticing anything that is happening around me.

But I’m more interested in people now, and I want to know what they really feel and think; I want to have a better sense of direction; I want to take more control of my life instead of daydreaming all the time.

Below are the steps I’m reminding myself to follow in order to become more observant:

Focus and pay more attention to details.

Become more self-aware. Know yourself and be aware of who you are and how you act.

Pay more attention to your surroundings.

Pay more attention to others than yourself. Listen to other people, don’t worry about what to say or do next the whole time.

Pay more attention to other people’s  body language to see how they feel.

It’s not going to be a overnight makeover but if there’s a will, there is a way!

Cheers to becoming more observant! 🙂

A few years ago a friend of mine mentioned that she planned her meals at least one month in advance. I was shocked… shocked at the fact that people can be so organized. Then I dismissed the idea entirely: there’s no need to design your menu one month in advance, I’ll stick to my spontaneous way!

Years later, I start to recognize the merits of planning meals ahead:

Reduce stress. We make so many decisions during a day. It can be quite stressful to decide at the end of the day – what’s for dinner for 2 people tonight!

You start to eat healthier.  Very often, we eat out or have take away food because of me (the house wife) being disorganized. Sure, food in restaurants are generally tastier but who knows what’s in it exactly! The extra fat gained from eating out all the time is not that attractive either.

Spend less. I’m all against being a money pincher and budget rigidly. But let’s face it, eating out all the time can be such a waste.

I’ve tried a few weeks here and there to plan our meals one week ahead and pretty happy with the result. So this is going to be a good habit to stay. One week ahead, stick with it:).

Do you plan your meals ahead?

Some people seem to be born collected and disciplined. They just glide through lives effortlessly:).

I, on the hand, am full of flaws. One of my other biggest weakness is that I never live in the present.
I used to put down “daydream” as one of my hobbies. But my type of day dreaming is a bit of overkill… Leaving shopping bags behind all the time after paying has become overly annoying.

My car is full of scratches because of my thought wonders through past events and future possibilities, but never really focuses on the present task: driving carefully.

So “Be Present” is another important point to be added to my never ending self improvement list.

• Let the past be the past. You can’t change it any more. Don’t waste more time dwelling on it.
• Don’t worry or fantasize too much about future. If you really want to spend time thinking about the future, plan and take actions instead.
• The most important moment is now. Because if you miss it now, you’ll never get it back in your life.
  Focus on the task at hand. Finish what you intend to do. And give it your best shot.

Be present.

Many many years ago, a friend of mine phoned me to share a tip for working in the office:

“You should always keep your desk really messy at work and pretend to be busy. When someone comes to you and asks for something, raise your head slowly and look at that person with a frown on your face.”

That made me laugh so hard.

Ironically, I never had the luxury to pretend to be busy while I was working in the office. I was always extremely busy.

I was brought up as a polite & timid Chinese girl who would yes to everything that other people at work ask me to do. As a result, I was a doormat in the office, working with at least 2 people’s workload without extra pay.

My desk was always piled with paperwork and files. My work inbox was flooded with messages everyday & I hardly had time to go to the toilet.

You can see where this is going… After this happened to me indifferent workplaces repeatedly, I quit office job for good.

Thinking back, I can’t blame everything on corporate environment. It was totally my fault.

I was too weak for office politics. I always wanted to try my best to help others but never dared to say NO or ask for help. As a result, I was exploited to the extreme & left with nothing.

If you don’t look after yourself, who will?

This world is not meant to be for faint- hearted:).

Be kind regardless, but be strong & stand up for yourself.

When I was little, my mum used to follow & watch me when I walked on the street.

Later she would tell me: Remember to keep your head up, just like there’s someone pulling your hair up.

As a little kid, I was a sloucher. And mum helped in the best way she could.

Fast forward anther 10 years, I went to the Uni and lived in the dorm with some beautiful, elegant girls. I picked up quickly the way they walk and got rid of my accent.

I looked like someone who was sure of herself and carried her body nicely whenever she walks.

That helped. It was always fairly easy for me to be hired after a job interview ( though by then I left China for Sydney and spoke broken English with a heavy accent).

After a few years of starting my own business and mainly working from home, I found myself slightly reverting back to the childhood version of me: A sloucher again! Not all the time but most of the time.

So here’s the thing I need to keep reminding myself: Maintain good body posture for the rest of my life.

Heads up, shoulders back, confident smile and direct gaze.

Don’t ever let yourself go again.